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PREVIOUS SPORTS
• Sideline: Yes, Non–Conference Games DO Count
• NCAA Preview 2009
• Sideline: Time For The Talking To Stop
• Sideline: In Memory of Air McNair
• Sideline: Will Goodell Hand Out Hard Time?
• Sideline: Marshall's Not Joshing
• NFL Draft: No Rush To Judgment
• NFL Draft Analysis 2009 (Part 2)
• Sideline: NFL Draft Thoughts (Part 2)
• Sideline: NFL Draft Thoughts
• Sideline: Will Play For Food
• Sideline: Wonderlic Scores
• Sideline: Manning and Sanchez
• Sideline: 2010 Leagues Sci–fi, or Fantasy? / March Madness
• Sideline: Break Out The Brackets
• Sideline: LaDainian Tomlinson On The Record
• Sideline: The Incredible Sulk Continues
• Sideline: Guildford Heat Fired Up
• Sideline: Super Bowl thoughts from the Valley of the Sun
• Sideline: I know I came in here for something
• Sideline: College Football National Signing Day
• Sideline: 27 Points — 27 Super Bowl thoughts
• Sideline: An Epic QB Matchup?
• Sideline: Appreciating Arizona for What They Were
• Sideline: NFL Divisional Weekend Preview
• Sideline: Bowl Season Hangover
• Sideline: Six weeks Later
• Sideline: Wildcard Weekend Preview
• Sideline: Santa's Sackings
• Sideline: A Weis Decision ...for Now
• Sideline: Eye on the Ticker
• Sideline: Lions — An Anagram of Losin
• Sideline: Ready for the Turkey
• Sideline: Making it to the Big Dance
• Sideline: Brighter Days Ahead for Chargers?
• Sideline: Unnecessary Hits To The Pocket / Upset: BYU
• Sideline: Romo's Pause / Seattle Seahawks
• Sideline: Weekend Prep: Red River and More
• Sideline: College Football's 'Crossroads' Weekend
• Sideline: Gramatical Error
• Sideline: Turning The Page
• Sideline: So Cal 'Quizzed
• Sideline: 3rd Tuesday Panic / Forté Yard Dash
• Sideline: Two and Oh; Oh and Two
• Sideline: No More NCAAffeine
• Sideline: Week 1 College Football
• Sideline: How To Spell Heisman / Chad Ocho Cinco
• Sideline: A Second Slice
• Sideline: The Favre story STILL won't go away
• Sideline: Olympic Notes / Ricky's Still Relevant
• Sideline: Committee Meetings
• Sideline: Let the QB Battles Begin
• Sideline: Slinging The Slinger — More Favre
• Interview: Clint Dempsey
• Sideline: Welcome to the 2008 season
• Sideline: Plus One
• 2008 NFL Draft Review
• Sideline: Draft: The Morning After
• Sideline: Draft: Thinking the Unthinkable
• Sideline: Draft: Ready For The Long Haul
• Sideline: Sofa–bound Sport
• Sideline: Post–Winter Wonderland
• Sideline: Six Impossible Things
• Sideline: Brady's Misdirection Play
• Sideline: Colorful Language
• Sideline: Let the Romo–bashing begin
• Sideline: Bowl Bites: The Wrap
• Sideline: All About The Coaches
• Sideline: Bowl Bites 3
• Sideline: Bowl Bites 2
• Sideline: Bowl Bites 1
• Sideline: Coach Situations Vacant
• Sideline: For Some, The Playoffs Are Now
• Sideline: A Certain Lack Of Welcome
• Sideline: Unrelated Notes
• Sideline: Two Thanksgiving thoughts
• Sideline: Halftime: NFC
• Sideline: Halftime: AFC
• Sideline: London / A Tale of Two Chads / Intimidation
• Sideline: Damp Squib / Other London Notes
• Sideline: Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em / Dolphins – The Aftermath
• Sideline: The Dolphins Did What?
• Sideline: Notes on the Defenses
• Sideline: Habits to be Broken
• Sideline: Overtime
• Sideline: This Week's Starters
• Sideline: USF: Covering The Spread / Fantastic Football
• Sideline: Grossman: The Final Act? / McNabb, the Epilogue
• Sideline: Eagles QB in Slight Controversy
• Sideline: Leftwich's Parting Gift / Boos cruise
• Sideline: Notre Dame M.I.A.
• Sideline: Looking Beyond NFL Wk. 1
• Sideline: Best Hope For Heisman
• Sideline: Coaching Hot Seats / AP Poll Feeling ’Appy
• Sideline: The NFL’s Prime Cuts
• Sideline: Michigan Falls to Killer Apps
• Sideline: Look Out Couch / The Taint's On You, Bud
SPORTS

SIDELINE
Observations, Opinion & Occasional Silliness by Richard L Gale

Lions: an anagram of Losin'
November 28, 2008

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Well, last night's three–ring NFL circus went much as expected considering the match–ups. At least Detroit seemed to understand that if you can't perform like Lions, at least make like clowns. They started with the ball, and yet a minute and a half into the game, they were already down by a score. Seven minutes in, and they were down by eleven, and the post mortem had already begun.

"They're not tackling well" suggested one analyst. Heck, they weren't tackling at all. Tennessee Titans back Chris Johnson was running against air. At 21–3 in the first quarter, the booing began, but this was a master class in ineptitude, and the Lions were out to earn their 0–12 record.

At the 1:34 mark in the first quarter, they took a time out. After the pause, they lined up for an eventual delay of game. A couple of plays later they punted ...for ten yards. Forty seconds into the second quarter, they were down 28–3, and it was turning into a game of 'Guess the gaffe' — sack, fumble, pick or shank? Okay, a flag that negates a turnover: that's new. (35–3).

If these Lions had turned up in a Roman arena, the Christians would have eaten them.
"My daddy left home when I was three..."

One of this week's more left–field stories: The mother of Brian Urlacher's 3–year old son Kennedy has alleged that the Chicago player paints their boy's toenails Bears blue and makes him wear pink Cinderella diapers. This, Tyna Robertson has told a Will County (Illinois) court, must stop or she will block Urlacher's access to their son.

Presumably, Brian finds this funny. Truth be told, I find it quite funny as well, and they'd only need visit Chicago's Oak Park to see a photo of undoubtedly masculine writer Ernest Hemingway — a high school football standout — dressed like a girl when he was about the same age. But mom doesn't find it funny, and is fearful Urlacher is confusing the lad.

Urlacher's response, according to Robertson: "It doesn't make him gay."

I'm no psychologist, but I suspect the subject matter you poop on when you're a kid isn't the defining element of later sexuality (I'm only surprised Brian doesn't get Kennedy to empty his bowels over an Aaron Rodgers diaper). He's only wearing a Cinders nappy, not dressed as the fairy godmother.

But I'm reasonably sure that when your father plays middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears, he could dress you in a tutu, take you to see Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and buy you Barbara Streisand's Greatest Hits, and you'll still turn out to be a fairly rough–and–tumble kid.

I guess Robertson never heard Johnny Cash's 'A Boy Named Sue'.

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